When it comes to matchmaking over the phone with live phone chat, it's essential that you ask the right questions to make that all-important good first impression that could lead to a date. Here are a few tips to help you get it right.
- Avoid closed questions Closed questions are those that just require a one-word answer. For example, "Are you well?" The answer you're most likely to get is, "Yes." and that's not going to get the conversation off to an exciting start! Instead, try asking something like, "What did you do today?" This encourages a more detailed response and gets the other person chatting.
- Don't dive straight in with personal questions Your first conversations with someone should be light and fun in tone. Don't start the conversation by asking deep, personal questions. For example, asking someone why they got divorced, or why they never had children is treading on dangerous ground. You may be curious about these things, but save that kind of questioning for a later conversation when you know the person better.
- Encourage relaxed chat by using positive memories Many people are nervous or even shy when speaking over the phone for the first time. If your phone date is a little reticent, you can help the conversation to flow by asking them about pleasant memories they may have. For example, you could ask about where your date grew up and what especially happy childhood memories they have.
- Establish if you have anything in common If you're going to get along together, it's pretty important that you have a few common interests or likes and dislikes. By asking the right questions, you can quickly establish if you're likely to hit it off. For example, if you have a very active social life and lots of friends that you like to go out and party with, ask what your phone date likes to do at weekends. If they prefer to stay in alone watching TV or surfing the net rather than socialising, you might not make a perfect match.
- Don't bombard your phone date with too many questions Although it can be helpful to keep the conversation flowing by writing down a list of potential questions to ask your phone date, you don't want them to end the conversation feeling as though they've just been for a job interview! Try to ask about things that will spark a discussion, rather than just rattle off non-stop questions.
- Don't discuss sex or intimacy One topic that should be strictly taboo during a first phone date conversation is sex. If a guy asks a girl overtly intimate or sexual questions, he could come across as creepy or pervy, and a girl who wants to discuss a bloke's favourite bedroom positions could just appear easy. Remember that, without the benefit of eye contact and body language, an attempt at risqué humour could come across in totally the wrong way!
Chatting on the phone can be a great way of establishing if there's a connection between you and a potential physical date. Keep the tone light, steer away from deeply personal subjects and you're on the right lines.